President George W. Bush on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

 

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Jay Leno Tears Into Obama with Shutdown-Themed Monologue

Can FOX find something for this guy once he leaves The Tonight Show:

At the end of a long week of government shutdown stalemate, Jay Leno opened the Tonight Show Friday night by tearing into Congress and President Obama in particular for failing to come to an agreement that would get federal employees working again. Below are some highlights from Leno’s brutal monologue.

“This government shutdown thing is getting old. The national parks are closed, the museums are closed, federal agencies are closed. But our borders? They’re wide open, don’t worry about that.”

“China is really upset about the government shutdown. Well sure, they’ve never had one of their businesses fail before.”

“President Obama has officially cancelled his trip to Asia. He said he didn’t want to be in Indonesia not doing anything to solve the crisis, when he could be in Washington not doing anything to solve the crisis.”

“Actually, it’s the perfect time for him to go to Asia. I mean, what better time to leave Joe Biden in charge of the country than during a a shutdown? He couldn’t do any more damage. right?”

“The shutdown is so bad, Nancy Pelosi may be forced to keep this face for another year. That’s how bad it is.”

In addition to the standard monologue jokes, Leno also took on the MSNBC reporter who had so much trouble signing up for Obamacare online. But in his version of the video, things went bit further with Mara Schiavocampo taking out her angry directly on the machine itself. 

RELATED: Maybe Obama should thank the Koch Brothers?

Jay Leno: Not Using Illegal Immigrant? How Bout' "Undocumented Democrat?"

Townhall.com:

Yesterday the Associated Press changed the way its writers handle illegal immigration by striking the term "illegal immigrant" from the AP Style book. The move led to some late night fodder from Jay Leno, who joked the AP will be using "undocumented Democrat" from now on.

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George W. Bush Receives Standing Ovation On "Jay Leno Show"

All the sad, few remaining BDS-sufferers out there can't be too happy about this.

Jay Leno And The Need For Education On Independence Day

They must've voted for Obama, except for grandpa of course.

Jay Leno Crushes David Letterman In Return To "Tonight Show"

WSJ.com:

About 6.6 million people watched comedian Jay Leno's return to hosting NBC's "The Tonight Show" Monday evening, topping his closest rival, David Letterman, who drew 3.8 million viewers on CBS, according to early Nielsen Co. data provided by NBC.

It was a solid start for Mr. Leno, who said "It's good to be home" in his opening monologue. The comedian's first-night guests included actor Jamie Foxx and skier Lindsey Vonn.

Mr. Leno returned to "The Tonight Show," displacing former host Conan O'Brien, after NBC axed his short-lived "The Jay Leno Show" from prime time. His comeback benefited from promotion during the Olympics and TV executives had anticipated a big first outing. Mr. Leno's real test will be how well he performs in coming months, they said.

Mr. Leno surpassed the 2.9 million that Mr. O'Brien attracted, on average, during the nearly eight months he spent hosting "Tonight," according to Nielsen figures. But Mr. Leno's first-night audience was lower than the number who watched Mr. Leno's last "Tonight Show" in May, or Mr. O'Brien's first show as host in June.

An NBC spokeswoman said it spent less to promote Mr. Leno's new launch than it did for the previous changeover, calling this launch "low key."

Funny, all those leftwing TV pundits who screamed that Leno was done.

Jay Leno Bashes David Letterman: "If You Came Here Tonight To Have Sex With A Talk Show Host You've Come To The Wrong Studio"

Too funny.

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Rush Limbaugh On Jay Leno

Jay really seems to be embracing the Right....either that or maybe he's also woken up to The Truth regarding The One. As for Limbaugh running over Al Gore.....nice!

Jay Leno Quote of the Day!

"There's a new book out about Barack and Michelle Obama's marriage and in it they say Michelle Obama was very upset by all these drooling blondes who would push up to her husband and rub themselves up against him. They said this one blonde was especially suggestive and kept rubbing up against the President. Finally, Michelle said, “Look, Chris Matthews, get away from my husband.”

- comedian and late-night talk show host Jay Leno

Jay Leno Ridicules Scandal-Plagued ACORN

Any wonder why so many TV scribes are hoping that Leno's new show fails? Whether you like him or not, Leno makes fun of everybody regardless of ideology, while his chief rival Letterman only slams the GOP and conservatives. To think, Letterman's only winning the late-night TV battle now because Leno moved to a different time-slot.

Jay Leno Quote of the Day!

“Barack Obama back from his big European tour. Did you see him in Europe? People were cheering him, holding up signs, blowing him kisses. And that was just the American media covering the story.”

- comedian and Tonight Show host Jay Leno

Jay Leno Quote of the Day!

"Experts are suggesting that if Hillary loses Pennsylvania, she could be finished. I don't want to say Hillary's days might be numbered, but her new Secret Service code name is 'Katie Couric.'"

- comedian and late-night talk show host Jay Leno